The Land Lubber’s Challenge-Chapter 4


This is the fourth installment of my Land Lubber’s Challenge.  If you haven’t read the first three chapters, then what are you waiting for?  I’m not going to do it for you.  Go find ’em on my blog here and start reading.  And now, away we go…


MONDAY (week 4)–Well, you’re up nice and early today, Gwen.  I see that you’re drinking in your future there…Examining your new house in all it’s unfinished splendor.  Why don’t you sit down and have some breakfast and we can take a good assessment of our situation here before we get started this week.


So, let’s review what we’ve accomplished in the last three weeks.  You’ve reached level 9 in your fishing ability, level 4 in your athletic ability, met a promising future mate, and begun to build the basis of your future manor.  Hmmm…Well, I guess that’s a fine enough start.  I must say, though, I was quite disapointed with our lack of growth on your housing project last week, however.  We need to start earning some serious money,  so I think our best bet is to hit the fishing holes with all we’ve got…


So, let’s review what we’ve accomplished in the last three weeks.  You’ve reached level 9 in your fishing ability, level 4 in your athletic ability, met a promising future mate, and begun to build the basis of your future manor.  Hmmm…Well, I guess that’s a fine enough start.  I must say, though, I was quite disapointed with our lack of growth on your housing project last week, however.  We need to start earning some serious money,  so I think our best bet is to hit the fishing holes with all we’ve got…

Well, Gwen…The shadows are lengthening and you’ve done a lot of fishing today.  We didn’t catch anything too spectacular, though, and we haven’t caught the big money fish.  Let’s head home…I’ve got a better place planned for you to fish at tomorrow.


*snore…snort…grumble*  No…no, I wasn’t sleeping Gwen.  I was keeping a lookout like I told you I would while you have to sleep outside.  *yawn*  Noise?  What noise?  I didn’t hear any noise…


…oh…that noise.  Well, I’m sure it’s nothing…probably just a hungry bear off in the woods…


He won’t come over here and bother you.  You have a light on.  Bears are afraid of lights, you know…I read that, umm, somewhere…


*sigh*  Fine, I’ll go check it out since you obviously are going to sit there in your nightgown worrying until I do and then neither of us is going to get any sleep tonight…It sounds like the noises are coming over from your neighbor’s house so let me just drift over there and check it out…


*grumble*  Wasting my time investigating noises…Don’t know what she thinks I’ll find…Oh!  Oh, my!  Ummm, Gwen?…Yeah, I see what’s making the noises over here.  Just a little bear, like we thought.  Nothing to worry about.  Now, just crawl back into bed and get some sleep.  No…no…just stay there.  The, uh, ‘bear’ looks a little perturbed right now, so I think it’s best to just keep your distance.


TUESDAY (week 4)–Rise and shine, Gwenny!  I’ve got a brilliant place all mapped out for you to try today.  It’s a bit of a hike, but I think it’s going to be worth it.  Jump out of bed and throw your jogging suit on and let’s hit the road.


Hmmm?  The bear last night?  Oh, I’m sure he just, uh, wandered away back into the woods.  It might not even had been a bear…it could have been a, uh, skunk…I don’t know…It was pretty dark out and I don’t have very good night vision.  Let’s not worry about it right now, huh?  We’re almost there… 


Here we are!  This place?  Oh, it’s just the Science Center and Museum.  This is where all of those little bugs you catch get donated…No, no…I don’t think anyone will mind that you’re fishing here.  At least no one has come running out the door to berate you just yet.  If that happens, you can just pretend that you’re stocking the pond for them.  These science types aren’t too bright…they’ll never catch on.  Fish away!


Ahhh…what a peaceful way to spend the afternoon, eh Gwen?  Just you…and me…watching the sun set down on Sunset Valley as you reel in fish after glorious, money making fish.  We are definitely off to a better start than we were last week…


WEDNESDAY (week 4)–Well, you should max your fishing level some time today if everything goes as planned.  Let’s take a jog back out to the lake behind the science center and see if we can max your fishing level and catch the elusive fish that makes its home in that pond…


Ummm…Gwen…You’ve been tipping the checkout boy at the grocery store, haven’t you?  You haven’t been stiffing him or anything, right?


What?  Oh, umm…no reason.


You, ah, know I just was curious…that’s all.  These type of things just pop into my head every now and, uh, then. 

*nervous chuckle* Alright, let’s get moving again.


Gwen!  Gwen!  Do you realize what you’ve done?!  You’ve done it, my Gwenny!  You’ve just maxed out your fishing skill on that vampire fish in your hand!  Oh, I’m so proud of you right now!  There’s tears in my eyes…


Yeah…who would’ve thought that vampire fish would latch on like that?  No, you don’t look any paler than usual…I don’t think.  Let’s move on over to this end of the lake and try our luck here.  You still haven’t caught the fish that is supposed to lurk deep in this lake.  Hmmm…What is that over there behind you? 


Oh!  It’s a little garden area that must be maintained by the science center staff.  Well, since no one has come out of the center yet to yell at you, I think we can assume that they wouldn’t mind if you picked the produce that they’ve so diligently maintained for themselves.  *cheerful whistle*


Hey Gwen!  What’s this odd little bush over here?  We haven’t seen one like that before, have we?  It looks like you are supposed to feed it a special diet.  Hmmm…Well, we could feed it something boring like an apple or we could get adventurous and feed it a fish.  We could feed it that vampire fish you had caught if you hadn’t of flung it back into the lake, screaming like a little school girl, and promptly fainted upon the bank.  What?  I’ve never heard of such a thing before, Gwen…A severe loss of blood does not lead to light headedness and fainting.  Where do you come up with such nonsense?  Get back out there and catch a fish so we can feed it to this plant here…


Oh, Gwen!  It’s perfect!  That’s exactly what I brought you out here hoping that you would catch!  It’s the Robofish!  Look how big it is!  Listen to the metalic clacking of its scales as it thrashes about in its death throes!  What?  No, they are just a little odd looking.  They aren’t harmful.  If I remember correctly, they’re only deadly if their eyes start glowing a crimson red.


Your’s aren’t glowing red, are they Gwen?  Oh, good.  Well, let’s take him quickly over and feed him to the plant in the garden. 


Look at me, Gwen!  I’m as excited and giddy as a school girl that’s been asked to the prom by her best friend’s boyfriend!  Hurry, hurry…feed it to the plant and see what happens!  Hmm….well, now that was fairly disapointing.  It just ate it up and nothing happened and now we just lost the 100 simoleans that we could have had from selling it.  Way to go, Gwen.  Who’s bright idea was it to throw away our fish like that?  Oh…yes, well…I think it’s time for us to head home now and weep silently into our respective pillows for the night.


THURSDAY (week 4)–Gwen!  Gwen!  Look!  Look!  *excited clapping*  Our plant has sprouted fruit…err, fish!  It worked!  It actually worked!  I must admit, I had somewhat lost hope last night when there was no instant gratification to our labors, but here it is!  It was all worth it!  So very worth it!  All of the hard labor of catching the robofish, fighting it with all my might as it thrashed and reeled in its torment as it tried to break away from me…all the hard work of subduing it and bending it to my will, and then dragging its heavy lifeless body over to the plant in order to laboriously chop it up into little pieces…tediously hand feeding it one chunk at a time to the plant that would soon bear its fruit…the…


Hmmm?  What was that Gwen?  For a moment there, I was sure you said something about how you had a role in its demise and you are the reason why this plant bears four robofish on its stems today.  *sniff*  You and your outlandish tales…as if…


OK, Gwen.  We’ve captured the Robofish by the science center yesterday.  One special fish left.  How lucky do you feel?  Shall we go for the other elusive fish that we need to collect to round out your fish collection?  Remember, if you say ‘yes’ here, I’m holding you to it.  Yes?  Well, then follow me…


What do you mean that you wouldn’t have agreed to come tonight if you had known I was taking you to the graveyard?  There’s nothing wrong with being in the graveyard at night.  *rolls eyes*  Like anything has ever happened to anyone in a graveyard at night…

Him?  *shrug* I don’t know.  It looks like he wet himself…He was probably just running home to grab a change of clothing.  I’m sure he will be right back.


Gwen, come on.  This is the only way that we are going to get the last fish on our list.  From the extensive hours that I’ve put into researching this, the fish that is left is only found in this one particular pond in this one particular graveyard.  So, switch that ‘brave’ trait on and I’ll…umm…be right behind you.


See?  That wasn’t so bad.  I’m sure there are other people around here somewhere.  They may not all be alive but…details, details…


Oh, Gwen!  You take everything so seriously.  I’m only kidding.


I’m sure that glowing, spectral form shrouded in mist with death in his eyes over there standing behind you wouldn’t take me so seriously…


*laughing*  Just kidding, of course.  Just a little graveyard humor to lighten the mood.  Ahh, well I can see that you aren’t interested in staying any longer tonight and have given up trying to catch our fish so I guess we can mosey on home.  We’ll come back later on and try again when the time is right.


SUNDAY (week 4)–Well, I don’t know what you did!  You’re the one that broke it!  All I asked you to do was take a shower this morning so you wouldn’t stink…I warned you earlier that this thing would leak.  It’s the bottom basement model…You’ve been complaing for the last week that it’s been giving you a cold shower and been grumbling about how you want to be rid of it.  Does it surprise you that it broke?  It probably took offense to you whining about what a crappy job it’s been doing for the last week. 


No!  Do you know how much a repairperson costs to hire?  That’s money that you don’t have, Hotcakes.  You’re on your own with this one.  I don’t care if you don’t have any expertise with plumbing…do what most plumbers do…make it up as you go along.  You can even charge yourself an exorbitant fee if you feel the need…whatever floats your boat.  Just get in there and start doing what I would do…beat the crap out of the showerhead with your wrench, cussing all the while.  I’ve even got some of those cuss words that the little girl that you met last week was throwin’ atcha written down here if you would like to use some of those…


Look!  You’ve fixed it!  You even earned a Mechanic skill while you were at it.  Good!  Now you can put that Mechanic skill to good use and fix that toliet that’s been clogged for the last few days.  Someone’s been using copious amounts of toliet paper and clogged that bad boy up.  Why are you looking at me like that?  *sniff*…I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about.  Just fix it already so we can be on our way to the market.  I want to see what we’ve managed to earn this week.


Well, 3,220 simoleans isn’t bad.  It isn’t what I was hoping for either, though.  I thought for sure we could bring in maybe 5k or so, but I guess it will have to do.  Let me jump over to the lot and see what magic I can weave with this paltry sum.


Well, here it is.  Four weeks worth of work and it still isn’t done.  The news just gets worse, though.  From my estimations, it’s going to take at least 2 more weeks just to get the bottom level finished.  After that, we have to do it all over again to finish the upper floor, which is just as large as the bottom.  Add to that the fact that we also need to furnish this thing and we’re in for a lot of upcoming work.  I hope you’re up for it, Gwenny…


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