The Land Lubber’s Challenge-Chapter 1

Chapter_One_Covershot_phixr

This is the first chapter in the Land Lubber’s Challenge, in which we meet the founder of the Collector’s Legacy, Gwen Fairbanks.  This chapter will follow Gwen as she makes it through her first week of collecting.

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MONDAY (week 1)–Alright, Gwen…Here you are!  You’re own piece of heaven.  Go ahead!  Have a look around!  All of this is yours…

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…Except for that.  That’s your rich neighbor’s.

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Your house is over there…What do you mean you don’t like pink?  It’s one of your favorites!  *sigh*  No, I built the house far enough away from the edge of the cliff so that in the rare event of a mudslide, it won’t make it’s way to the bottom in a jagged heap of destruction.  I did give you the “brave” trait, didn’t I?  Why are you crying like that?

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Here, take a look inside the outhouse…I mean, bathroom.  It’s pink too!  Just how you like it!  Go on, get over there and check it all out!

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The inside of your bathroom is just as, ummm, glorious as the outside, isn’t it?  Watch that shower, by the way…It sometimes leaks.

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What do you mean these chairs make you want to cry inside?  They’re perfectly lovely chairs!  Alright, fine.  They may have been SimMart specials, but at least you have a nice view while sitting in them, right?

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And just look at that view!  Breathtaking, isn’t it?  Steep cliffs that tower over the raging ocean down below…The water churning and crashing up against the sharp rocks at the base of the cliff.  One of those moments where you wonder what would happen if you snuck up on a person who is gazing peacefully out on the scenic view and gave them a little playful shove from behind…

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Gwen?  Gwen, where did you go?  Ahhh, there you are!  Had enough of that beautiful view for now, have you?  Good!  Let’s get started then!  You, ummm, may want to lie down while I deliver this news to you.

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Alright, so here’s the plan.  You are going to run around Sunset Valley collecting things.  You know, seeds, bugs, rocks, fish and so forth.  You also need to collect a man somewhere along the way, so keep an eye out for a good one…no losers.  Oh, one more bit of good news for you.  We also have to fullfill your LTW of maxing out your logic and athletic abilities so, umm, you are going to have to run everywhere as you collect and umm, think about why you are running everywhere.  Good!  That sould cover both wants!  We should have your mind and body in shape in no time flat, right Gwen?
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Alright!  Let’s get started!  Head down the road to check for…Gwen…leave that.  It’s just a newspaper.  We aren’t collecting newspapers.  I said, “seeds, bugs, rocks, and fish”.  I did give you the “genius” trait, didn’t I?  Why don’t we head down to the beach first today to try our luck at fishing?

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What do you mean, “How do I get down there”?  I know of only two ways to get down there.  One consists of you moving both your legs in a rapid motion, called “r-u-n-n-i-n-g”.  The other involves the end of my foot.  I’m going to make the choice for you real quick like if you don’t start using that “genius” trait that I so generously bestowed upon you.  Now move!

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Alright, I see you made it down here in one piece.  Now, in your pocket you will find the Fish Beater 2000 Fishing Rod that I have so graciously given you.  If you would be so kind as to whip that out, we can get started here…

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Alright, Gwen!  You’ve got a bite!  It looks like it’s going to be a big one!  Look at it fight!  It’s going to be a real monster from the deep!  We’re going to strike it rich on our first go here and I didn’t even give you the “lucky” trait!  WhooHoo!!
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If anyone asks, that fish weighs at least 15 pounds.  Hurry, put it in your pocket before someone sees the pathetic thing.

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Well, it’s getting dark and I can see that you are hungry so let’s save the fishing for tomorrow.  I think it would be a good idea for us to head to the park right now to see if anyone’s got supper on. 

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And here we are…Yes, it is lovely isn’t it?  What’s that heavenly smell, you ask?  Well, that would be tonight’s supper.  It’s a picnic in the park!  It might not be your picnic, but those are just details…But before we start casing the joint, I spy a seed on the sidewalk.  Go ahead and grab it.

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Oh!  A man!  A man!  Stuff that seed in your pocket and talk to him!  But whatever you do, don’t…

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…tell him about your house.  *sigh*  Alright, well the damage is done.  Well, make it at least sound like you’ve got something good.  Describe the neighbor’s house to him…he won’t know the difference unless…

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…he asks to be invited over.  Crap.  Hurry, change the subject!  Talk about what you know…uh, uh…Fishing!  Yeah!  Talk about your fishing excursion today!

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Good!  Now tell him you need to go before he starts asking what you caught.  Speaking of food, you need to eat before you get cranky so let’s have a look around.  I spy an abandoned picnic basket over yonder…

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Alright, so here’s the plan, Gwen.  You’re going to just saunter up all casual like over to the picnic basket and make yourself a plate.  The trick is to act like you belong there…kind of like when you crash a wedding or the rich person down the streets birthday party.

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Wow!  That “brave” trait kicked right in, didn’t it?  I would have just nabbed the hot dog and made over to the other side of the park to scarf it down behind a bush, but not my Gwen, eh?  But, let’s not press our luck for today and head home.

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Well, Gwen, I’d say you done good for your first day.  You’ve hit Level 3 in your fishing (that “angler” trait must be working for you), you’ve collected your first seed, stole your first meal, and met a man.  Go to bed now and we shall see what tomorrow brings…

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TUESDAY (week 1)–Alright, since the park was so bountiful yesterday, I think we should check it out a little bit more in the daylight to see what we can find.  Let’s start off with a little breakfast, now shall we?  What do you mean, you don’t think it’s right to help yourself to other people’s food?  I didn’t bestow the “good” trait upon you so sit your butt down and start feasting.

 

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That’s better!  If it makes you feel any better, you can sit with whoever owns the food and act like you give a crap about what they’re saying to lessen your guilt.  If no one’s around, just pretend like it was your food in the first place.

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Now, I think we should turn our attention to begining our bug collection.  Let’s start with butterflies, shall we?  Now, the trick to catching butterflies is to sneak up on them real quietly…gently hold your hands out in the air around them…AND THEN CLAP YOUR HANDS TOGETHER REAL FAST AND HARD!

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Or, you could just just let one land on your hand.  Whatever works for you, I guess.  Alright, stuff it in your pocket and let’s catch some more…

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over here…

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and over there…We should probably try to find you some free grub before it gets too dark out here and you have to head home.  Soon all the weirdos will be migrating to the park.  Just kidding of course, Gwen…

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*sigh*…or not.  Who did you find there?  We already found a perfectly good man for you yesterday…one that likes, umm, fishing I think and umm, houses?  We don’t need to talk to this one…

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This one spells his name with more than one capital letter and a number.  Remember what I said about losers?  They are a big “NO”.  We have to protect the Collector’s lineage.  Look, this one likes black.  You like pink.  It could never work out.  Let’s move on…quickly…I know you disagree with me right now, but I think you’ll see things in a different light tomorrow…

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WEDNESDAY (week 1)…Or not.  Gwen, just grab some breakfast and let’s go.  We have things to collect…

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Look what I found!  The park has fruit trees!  Score!  Start pickin’ pumpkin.  The day’s not get any longer and you still don’t have any money.

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Good!  All of the fruit trees around here have been de-fruited so I think we should work on your fishing skills until dinner time.  In other words, no one has whipped out a picnic basket yet so we might as well have you doing something useful until that transpires. 

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Boy, you sure get cranky when you get hungry.  I had a legitimate reason for keeping you from all of those apples that you picked earlier.  You will thank me later when you sell them for a few simoleans at the end of the week.  Don’t give me that look.

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Here, why don’t we have a little fun.  You’ve worked hard picking fruit and fishing all day.  Let’s work on your logic skill a bit since I don’t think all of the “pondering while running” has been working for you.  *suspicous glare*  You have been pondering while you’ve been running, haven’t you?  Why are you whistling?

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Look!  It’s the guy you met during your first day at the park!  He came back!  Hurry, invite him to sit down and join you in a game of chess. 

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What do you mean you’re suddenly tired and want to go to bed?  There’s nothing wrong with this man.  He is perfectly fine!  Loser Number 2 isn’t going to work out well for you.  I wouldn’t steer you wrong, I promise.  I love you like, umm, a daughter, or something like that.  I have your best interest at heart.  *sigh*  Fine, go home and sleep.

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THURSDAY (week 1)–I think today we shall skip the park.  Why don’t you have a quick breakfast and then we can head out into the rolling hills across the street from your sha…house.  I heard some weird noises coming from that direction just last night while you slept.  I wouldn’t mind nosing around a bit out there to see what’s out there.  That sounds like fun doesn’t it?

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No?  What?  What’s wrong?  Are you choking?  You’re sure you’re fine?  Well alright then.  Stuff it in and let’s be on our way.  The trails call to us!  Let’s go out exploring!

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What do you mean your legs burn?  It’s not that steep of a hill.  If this was easy I would be doing it, not you, so quit your complaining. 

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Look!  I see some seeds scattered around.  Let’s grab those and put them with the others that you have collected from the park. 

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Go investigate that rock thing over there.  What is it?  It looks valuable.  I think we’ve just made our first gem discovery.  Let’s keep looking for rocks and seeds while we are out here. 

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FRIDAY (week 1)–Since we made such a good haul yesterday in the hills, I think we will stick to this area for a little while longer.  Nothing ate you and you didn’t run into any strange men, so I think we are good.  What?  No, it was joke.  There isn’t anything that could eat you out here (I don’t think).  Look!  Bushes with vegetables!  Go investigate, quick!  *phew*

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This little lake across from your house has so many wild vegetables and fruits just growing undisturbed!  What a find!  Pluck away Toots!  Two-story mansion, here we come!  What?  No, that’s not sarcasm you hear in my voice.

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SATURDAY (week 1)–Since it’s Saturday and the week is almost over, I think it would be a good day to practice your fishing.  You’re at level 6 with your fishing now, but you are going to have to improve if you want to catch the really big fish…

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What’ve you got there?  *screams like a little girl*  Run, Woman, RUN!!  Hurry!!  

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NO!!  You’ve managed to dredge up the dreaded Tragic Clown Fish from the deep bowels of the sea where it makes it’s lair!!

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HA!  Just kidding!  It’s just a harmless, fun little fish that likes the circus a bit too much.  But, you should have seen your face as it came flying in…good stuff…good stuff…

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Oh, stop pouting.  You know I’m just having my fun.  It may be at your expense, but I’m sure you will punish me later by talking to that CyclOn3 dude again.

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SUNDAY (week 1)–Well, everything that you have collected all week has been sold so, Ta-Da!  Here’s your new house!  What do you mean it  doesn’t look like the house next door?  Sure it does…It has, umm, walls and a door and windows…The house next door has windows!

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And look inside!  All of your old things!  You thought I had hauled them all off to the dump, didn’t you?  Nope!  They’re all there waiting for you, but inside now instead of outside.  Doesn’t it make it you so happy that you just want to cry?  That is why you’re crying, isn’t it?  Ahh, well week 2 begins tomorrow so you’d better rest up!  We’ve got collectin’ to do!

4 Comments

  1. Ruffdog said,

    November 11, 2009 at 7:10 pm

    That was a good and funny story u should write books about this stuff! it is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Funny

    • breannestone said,

      December 20, 2009 at 7:40 am

      Thanks Ruffdog! I’m so glad you liked it…Most of the time when I write, I end up entertaining myself more than anyone else. It’s nice to know that someone else shares my warped sense of humor!

      –Bree

  2. nam24601 said,

    January 2, 2010 at 4:35 pm

    Funny stuff! So far, you are the best writer I have come across for sims stories! 🙂 I think I’m gonna rate you and your stories right up there with Alice and Kev…(did you read Alice and Kev? If not, I’d recommend it! Awesome stuff!)

    🙂 Great job.

    • breannestone said,

      January 2, 2010 at 4:53 pm

      Oh my! You’re making me blush now!! That’s so very sweet of you to say…You’ve made my day! Hehe, I’m glad you like my sense of humor. Half the time while I’m writing that stuff I’m laughing to myself. My husband just rolls his eyes and shakes his head at me…which of course makes me laugh even harder. Ahhh…so easily amused.

      I have heard of the Alice and Kev story, but haven’t actually read it yet. I will have to wander over and take a look when I get a while to sit down and read. Thanks!

      I have one other story that isn’t here yet…my Winterhaven story. That one isn’t humorous. It’s more along the lines of “The Lake”. I created it for the BnS Week 16 challenge over at Builder’s Bulevard. I’m hoping to get that one transferred over soon.

      Thanks for taking the time to read all of the stories! It’s nice to know I’m not just writing for myself, hehe…


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